Everything is Connected

We so often hear this phrase in many different teachings. But the moments when we really stop and have that light bulb go off can be few and far between for most of us.

In the yogic and Hindu traditions, particularly within non-dualism, there is a teaching of “not two.” This goes even deeper than the idea that everything is connected. It points to the possibility that we were never truly separate in the first place.

Each and every one of us matters in this whole ecosystem of what we call life. Each one of us plays a part in the whole. Each one of us affects others, creating ripples that move outward into the ocean.

Those ripples can be quiet, or they can become crashing waves. The energy behind them often comes from whether we are rooted in calm presence or overtaken by our shadows, our programming, or our deepest fears, anger or shame.

A recent everyday experience brought this to the forefront for me. It was something so ordinary and yet so full of clarity.

I was getting into my car in a parking lot when the huge white pickup truck in front of me began backing toward my much smaller car. It kept coming at a speed and closeness that made me feel as though it was going to hit my parked vehicle.

I honked. Nothing happened.

I honked again, and the truck finally stopped.

My heart was racing, but I was thankful that I hadn’t been hit.

The woman in the truck got out. Instead of walking around her car and ignoring me, she walked directly toward me. I said, somewhat under my breath, “It looked like you were going to hit me.”

Her body was tense, and she began spewing curse words at me. She continued even after she had walked past me, turning to look back as I slowly pulled away. It was as though part of me wanted to stay and watch the situation unfold.

In that moment, all I could see was the possibility of her anger and resentment toward me being carried forward to whomever she came into contact with next. Maybe the incident with me didn’t put her in that “mood,” and maybe she didn’t carry that mood forward. But I could so clearly see the ripple of what had just happened and how everything is connected.

For me, I had been in an accident involving a parked car a few years ago. Everyone was okay, but the car I was driving—which was my mom’s—was badly damaged. More than that, I internalized the experience physically and emotionally.

What came up for me in this new experience was shame, guilt and the trembling of the body that comes from fear. The previous accident wasn’t entirely my fault, although I did play a part in it. So here I was again, in a similar situation, trying to prevent that from happening again—and all of it came back up for me.

Maybe the driver of the truck was never going to hit me. Maybe she knew exactly how far she could go. But I didn’t really do anything “wrong” beyond honking my horn as a warning.

Or did I?

That horn may have represented the idea that you’re doing something wrong. Perhaps it stirred up a feeling like shame—the fear that we are not good enough—which is such a deeply rooted emotion for so many of us.

I don’t know what the woman was actually feeling or what caused her reaction. But in that moment, I could watch what was coming up for me and imagine what may have been coming up for her. I could see how it played out through our physical and emotional reactions—and how those reactions could add bigger waves to the vast, connected ocean.

Everything is connected.

This doesn’t mean we are responsible for every reaction another person has. Nor does it mean that awareness makes us perfect. I still create waves. We all do.

But practices such as yoga, Yoga Nidra, meditation, sound and dance give me opportunities to notice what is moving through me. They allow for somatic and emotional release and create a little more space between what I feel and what I pass forward.

My studies of yoga, Eastern philosophy, non-dualism and shadow work continue to deepen this feedback loop of knowing myself. They help me recognize what belongs to the present moment, what may be an echo of the past and what I have a choice not to carry into the future.

And I am grateful for unexpected teachers—like the woman in the white truck—who remind me that even our most ordinary encounters can reveal the whole ocean.

We may not be able to prevent every wave.

But with awareness, perhaps we can become more intentional about the ripples we create.